


As We Go

by Curlyhurlyburly



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, High School AU, Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-19
Updated: 2013-12-06
Packaged: 2017-12-24 00:23:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/932879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Curlyhurlyburly/pseuds/Curlyhurlyburly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat is just the weird kid in John's science class.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

John and Jade were brother-sister rolling stones. And their grandparents were professional stone-rollers. During the eleventh grade, after travelling for three years, Grandma and Grandpa rolled John and Jade back into Washington. They came back tanned and muscular and a little socially awkward. Though that last bit was no problem because their attractiveness had gone up a thousand percent.

Jade had been craving teenager interactions for a long time, so when they arrived on the first day of school, she abandoned John in search of potential companions. John was in search of teenagers as well, but some more specific ones. John and Jade had left behind a couple of friends three years previous. Jade would be back for them later, but John took up the mission to find them first.

The infamous brother-sister combo of Rose and Dave was never hard to miss. Their blond hair joined forces and reflected light like it was flagging in ships to harbor. Their smiles when John appeared at their picnic table were nearly as bright.

“John!” Dave called, jumping up. “Woah, you’re alive! It’s fucking Christmas!”

“Hi John,” Rose said brightly. John laughed. They hadn’t changed at all.  

“Hey. Yes, I’m alive,” He assured them. Dave forced him to sit down at the table. For once, the siblings were not alone. Seated with them was a redheaded girl in shades and a demure girl with cropped hair and a loud blouse.

“This is John,” Dave told them loudly. “He’s a massive asshole. “

“Hello, massive asshole,” The redhead beamed.

“That’s Terezi,” Dave told John. “She’s also a massive asshole.”

“Wow! What a coincidence!” John gasped, reaching out to shake her hand. She snatched it and shook it violently, grinning like an idiot.

“And this is Kanaya,” Dave said, indicating the other girl. He then gripped John’s shoulders and leaned in close. “ _She is macking on Rose,_ ” He whispered.

“Oh my god!” John remarked.

“Oh my god,” Rose repeated. Kanaya looked vaguely amused.

“And this is an empty space,” Dave said, pointing at the spot next to Terezi. John was about to ask when Dave continued speaking. “Where’s Jade?”

“Oh,” Jon said. “She’s… off… being Jade. I dunno. We’ll see her later.”

“Cool,” Dave said quickly.

“What classes do you have?” Rose asked. John reached into his bag and found his already wrinkled schedule. He spread it out on the table and the group poured over it.

“You have Math with him, Terezi,” Kanaya said. John didn’t know why she couldn’t see that for herself, as she was looking right at it. “Oh, and you have English with Rose and I.”

“I scooped him for basically everything,” Dave pointed out with a grin.

“I’m already sick of you,” John teased.

“And you have Science with Karkat,” Dave added.

“Who?”

“Empty space.”

“What?”

“Karkat is Dave’s boyfriend,” Terezi said loudly. 

“Oh my god he is not you little shit,” Dave retorted.

“Karkat is really good at Science,” Kanaya said.

“Karkat is empty space?” John asked loudly, trying to get a complete answer from one of them.

“Karkat is not sitting with us like he usually would because he’s a wiener,” Dave explained.

“Dave! Rose!”

The kids turned their heads to find Jade sprinting towards them. She reached out and got both Rose and Dave in a choke-hold-hug.

“I missed you guys!”

Rose affectionately patted her shoulder while Dave tried to fix his sunglasses. Jade released them and scooted in next to Dave, quickly introducing herself to the other two girls at the table.

“Great news!” She exclaimed. “There’s a huge band and they’ve got room for a bassist and a flutist. I just have to pick one.”

“Pick bass,” John cut in. Jade ignored him.

“Also everyone seems pretty nice! The teachers, too. The Cafeteria is huuuuge.”

John was marveling at how much energy his sister could have so early in the morning, when his eyes caught Dave. Ogling her from behind his sunglasses.

“What time does the bell go?” John asked sharply.

“In like a minute,” Terezi told him. As if summoned, the bell cam ringing through the schoolyard.

“We have English first,” Rose said, standing up. Kanaya stood as well and John followed suit with them. “We can show you the route.”

John wasn’t even a little bit miffed when he got third-wheeled on the way to class. But a third person often won’t fit into a duo that’s holding hands, so he had to hover around back and forth as they went. Once they had found seats in the classroom, they politely sat in a way that opened conversation between the three of them. Which perfect, because John wanted to converse.

“So how are you guys friends with Terezi?” He asked.

“I was friends with her before,” Kanaya told him, flipping through a fresh notebook. “Us and Karkat. And then I met Rose and Terezi met Dave and drama happened and then Dave became really close with Karkat.”

“Huh. That’s a mouthful,” John mused.

“Sorry,” She replied. John smirked.

“So Terezi and Dave?” He asked. Rose nodded.

“That was a pretty strange time for everyone. Hormones and everything, you know,” She said. “She _is_ blind, by the way.”

“Is she?” John replied. “I couldn’t tell.”

“Is that sarcasm?” Kanaya asked. John shook his head. “Well then she’s getting better at faking it.”

“And then what about Karkat?” John continued. Kanaya pursed her lips.

“He’s a shy person,” She said. “And he clashes with Dave, but in a way that makes them good friends. Dave has been talking about how you were coming back, and I think Karkat…”

“Is envious,” Rose interrupted. “Of the friendship you guys had. But to be honest, they’re really good friends. I don’t know what he’s worried about.”

“I think he’s got more on his mind,” Kanaya disagreed. “But that’s part of it, yes.”

“I have Science third period. What does he look like?” John pressed.

“Spanish. Dark hair and eyes and sense of style,” Kanaya answered.

“Don’t bother him for now,” Rose pitched in. Kanaya nodded.

“He’s going through some things.”

The teacher walked in before John could interrogate them any further. The first class of the day was very simple. Just introductions, really. The next class was History, with Dave. John was starting to gather that nothing would be taught on the first day and took the time to try and catch up a little more on all the stuff he had missed.

“So, you and Terezi,” He said immediately upon sitting next to Dave. Dave groaned.

“Yeah whatever.”

“What happened between you two?” John asked.

“She went after a different guy,” Dave said. “But she was still friends with Karkat so she stuck around and now it doesn’t matter.”

“That’s it?”

Dave paused.

“Yes,” He said. “Okay but what have you dorks been doing this whole time?”

John told Dave about the trips they had gone on and the things they had seen.  Dave only seems sort of interested.

“Cool,” He said when John was finished. “Did you smooch a lot of chicks?” He asked, a grin appearing out of nowhere.

“Hell no,” John groaned. “Grandpa and Nana where constantly hovering over us.” Dave chuckled.

“Okay well I did, obviously,” He teased. John stuck out his tongue.

“Bleh. Please keep that to yourself.”

The conversation for the rest of the class was monotonous at best. John didn’t want to bring up Karkat or Terezi to Dave again, feeling like it would come back to bite him later. But he dug around a little about Rose and her girlfriend, and Dave was happy to indulge.

“Kanaya actually stalked Rose online for like, ever. Okay well like a while at least,” He explained with renewed vigor. “And then when they found out they were going to the same high school, it was like, business time. Okay well not really. They met each other and Kanaya asked Rose out. And _then_ it was business time. Like holy shit.”

John chuckled. Dave really hadn’t changed in the way he spoke on long tangents.

“They’re all over each other now,” Dave said. “I mean they’re not as gross as some couples but still. Ew. Rose. Come on.”  

“They aren’t bad at all,” John remarked.

“No, they cool,” Dave agreed. John smirked. Dave looked like something else was ebbing on his mind but he kept his mouth shut And John let him.

In Science, John was on the lookout for dark boys. His search target, he assumed, was the Hispanic guy with black everything sitting in the corner of the room. John sat perpendicular to him, so that he wasn’t close to him, but could also get a good look at him. The kid didn’t even look up once as everyone filed in.  During attendance, however, his attitude shifted noticeably from apathy to interest. When the teacher read out ‘John Egbert,’ John was quick to make sure his presence was noted. He watched the kid’s eyebrows quirk. He was sure this was Karkat, and he was sure that if Karkat had heard of him before, he’d be staring any minute now. But aside from roll call, John didn’t attract any attention to himself. His suspicions were confirmed early on, when Karkat’s unfocused eyes focuses on him.

John found Dave and Rose and company at the end of the period, feeling victorious.  He dove right into his sandwich, already feeling considerably settled in among them.  Rose ate salad and Kanaya ate fruit and Dave ate a bag full of mcdonalds fries probably from that morning. Terezi didn’t have a lunch of her own and was picking off of Dave’s food.

Karkat rolled in about ten minutes after the bell, hands shoved into his pockets.

“Who’s that guy,” He asked, vaguely indicating John as he plopped down into a chair. John was a bit amused that he would ask that.

“John,” Dave answered. “He’s our friend from a few years ago that I told you about, remember?”

“Oh,” Karkat said bluntly.

“Wait until his sister Jade shows up-“

“I met Jade,” Karkat said. “We had second period.”  If he had already met Jade but not John, that must have meant they met _for real._ John chewed silently, contemplating the possibilities of their encounter.

“Do you have lunch?” Rose asked.

“No,” Karkat answered, obviously miffed. “I woke up late. Again. Surprise.”

“Would you like some salad?”

“No,” Karkat replied. “Thanks.” Terezi quietly gestured to Dave’s fries but Karkat replied in the same fashion. When Jade arrived, she sandwiched herself between John and Dave.

“Hi again,” She said brightly, to everyone. But to John’s dismay, Dave and now Karkat seemed particularly interested. Just in different ways.

And for the rest of the day, Karkat was empty space again.

After school, Karkat and Terezi went home immediately (in separate directions) leaving the others to saunter home in the vague heat of the afternoon. Rose and Dave had invited their vagabond friends to their home, and Kanaya was coming along as apparently she always did. Rose and Kanaya walked hand in hand. Jade and Dave chatted idly. And John observed very very  carefully. He had a few thoughts rolling around in his head.

While Dave was unenthusiastically giving John the grande tour of his room, John got his chance to interrogate.

“Hey, does Karkat hate me or something?” He asked as Dave spun around in his computer chair.

“What?” Dave returned. “Why do you ask that?”

“I dunno,” John said, shrugging. “It seems like he avoided me today. Or like I don’t exist to him or something like that.”

Dave sighed loudly, leaning back in his chair.

“Listen, don’t bug Karkat too much, okay?” He said.

“What do you mean?” John asked. Dave shrugged.

“Just. He’s really sensitive. He’s got some stuff going on and he’s sort of messed up about it,” Dave explained.

“Rose and Kanaya said that too,” John recalled. “What is it? What’s going on?” Dave bit his lip for a moment before answering.

“It’s private,” He said. “It’s not really my business to say, you know? Just don’t worry about it.”

“Oh, alright,” John replied softly. “You’re kind of different from three years ago, Dave,” He mused, grinning.

“How so?” Dave asked, interest piqued.

“It seems like if I had asked you to spill your friend’s personal beans back then, you would have,” John told him. Dave smirked.

“If you’re wondering if I’m still an asshole, the answer is yes,” He said. “But there are lines and stuff you just shouldn’t cross. I mean, I guess he’ll tell you if he feels like it.”

“Hm,” John hummed. “Yeah I guess.” And he tried to give it no more thought. But of course, even after getting home waaaaay later that night with Jade, it ebbed at the back of his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Karkat was actually present first thing with all the others. But he was distant. Dave tried talking to John, but John was a little caught up in the way Karkat was almost glaring at him. And that continued for the entire day, as any time they saw each other, Karkat would be trying to discreetly scrutinize John and John would be trying to discreetly figure out what his deal was. By lunchtime, they were stuck in a two-way spying contest. That is, until Karkat caught John at a corner and all but slammed him into the wall.

“What’s your fucking problem?” He snarled, trapping John. No one was in that hallway, leaving Karkat alone to kill John or eat his brains or whatever he wanted.

“Excuse me?” John gasped. Karkat was much shorter than him, but was getting awfully close to his face.

“You’ve been staring at me all day!” Karkat snapped.

“You’ve been glaring at me all day!” John returned. Karkat scowled.

“Because you’ve been staring at me. All. Day.”

“Okay okay I’m sorry,” John offered, trying to get Karkat to take just one or two steps back. “You just seem like you’re angry or upset or something.” Karkat rolled his eyes, as if he’d heard that before. “But  I get it, okay? Dave told me.”

Karkat paled. His pupils shrank.

“Told you what?” His voice lost all of its venom. He sounded small.

“That you’re sensitive or something because, you know,” John began. Karkat went so far as to put his hands on John’s shoulders, pushing him back.

“What? What did he tell you about me?” He growled. John felt like his face was going to get eaten off.

“Nothing!” He clamored. “That’s all he said! He wouldn’t tell me what happened!” Karkat’s scowl dissolved. He let go of John and backed away.

“Karkat, look, I didn’t mean to offend you or anything, okay? I was only-“

“Leave me alone,” Karkat said flatly, cutting John off. He adjusted his backpack and turned to leave.

“W-wait, Karkat,” John tried again. But Karkat ignored him as he disappeared around the corner.

After catching his breath, John migrated to the lunch table. Everyone but Karkat was there, looking completely unimpressed.

“What did you do,” Jade asked as John sat down. Everyone else seemed eager to know the answer.

“I didn’t do anything,” John said, assuming Karkat had already been there. “He approached _me_.” Approached being a very nice way of putting it.

“I told you not to bug him,” Dave said.

“I wasn’t bugging him!” John claimed. “What did he tell you I did?”

“He didn’t say anything,” Rose answered.

“He wouldn’t talk. He just left, looking twice as angry as usual,” Kanaya added.

“Alright well I didn’t do anything to him,” John told them. “Just trust me on that, okay?” Jade and Dave stopped baring their teeth at that, settling back in their seats. But Terezi, who hadn’t said anything, still looked pissed off. John felt like he had accidentally picked enough fights, so he tried to ignore her.

 

“You really need to leave Karkat alone,” Jade told John as they were walking home. John groaned.

“I didn’t do anything!” He repeated for the umpteenth time. “Why? Do you know what happened? Did my doppelganger kill his family?”

Jade scowled, turning away and viciously chewing her lip.

“Wait, you do know, don’t you?” John asked. Jade wouldn’t answer.  “Holy shit! He told you? Or did Dave tell you? Oh my god.”

“Leave it alone John!” Jade snapped.

“I just want to know why Karkat apparently hates me and now everyone else does as well!” John said.

“Oh my god, no one hates you,” Jade sighed. “Just… just, stuff is going on. No one hates you. Karkat doesn’t even hate you.”

“Oh good,” John mumbled. “Stuff is going on. It’s been one day.”

“Alright, you,” Jade said, grabbing John’s neck in the crook of her elbow and rubbing her knuckles into his skull. John screeched, trying and failing to pull away from his much stronger sister. They barely got home without play-fighting to death.

 

After another nearly sleepless night, John snuck out of the house and headed to school half an hour early, too restless to wait around. When he got there, John found Karkat sitting on top of the picnic table. It seemed like he was just as surprised as John was to see the other there.

“Karkat,” John said, reaching the table. Karkat slid off of it, and John expected him to leave. But he stood there in front of John, fists balled and expression weak.

“Look, John, I’m sorry,” He said. “I didn’t mean to go off on you like that. I know you weren’t trying to upset me.”

“That’s… fine, Karkat,” John replied, a caught little off-guard. “I understand.”

“No really,” Karkat insisted. “Alright, I am really over-sensitive. I’m a total asshole, okay? It was stupid of me to think you were doing anything. It’s all in my head.”

“I’m still sorry,” John told him. “You seemed really upset.” Karkat sighed.

“I just didn’t trust Dave not to spill the beans,” He mumbled.

“Your beans are perfectly safe,” John assured him. Karkat quirked an eyebrow, apparently not impressed with the joke.

“Alright, well, I’m gonna get lost for a while I guess,” He sighed.

“Wait, Karkat,” John said quickly. “Look, I know you’re friends with Dave and Rose and everyone, and now Jade. I want us to be friends too.”

“Sure,” Karkat said, nodding and turning to leave.

“I mean it,” John said.

“I know,” Karkat assured him.

“I don’t have anywhere to go for half an hour,” John added. Karkat slumped his shoulders.

“Come on, then.”

John followed alongside Karkat as he went around to an obscure, hidden-away area of the school.

“Where are we going?” John asked.

“This is where I inject weed and get totally fucked up,” Karkat said. John laughed.

“I didn’t know you had a sense of humour,” He chuckled.

“We’ve never spoken,” Karkat reminded him.

“Oh, right,” John said. “Well, now we’re speaking.” Karkat nodded, sitting in the grass. John sat next to him. “So you and Dave are like, best friends?” Karkat shrugged.

“Sure. I dunno. It seems like you’re closer to him,” He said softly.

“Well we haven’t seen each other in three years,” John replied, twisting his lips. “It seems to me like he really gives a shit about you. And Dave Strider barely gives any shits at all.”

“Yeah, we’re completed smitten,” Karkat said, falling back onto the grass and closing his eyes.

“Is this where you come when you’re not around?” John asked.

“I come here to sleep,” Karkat answered.

“You don’t sleep at home?” John chuckled.

“No,” Karkat told him. John pursed his lips.

“Were you really upset yesterday?” He asked, trying to avoid the eggshells that Karkat was made up of. Karkat sighed.

“No,” He repeated.

“Kanaya says you were mad.”

 “I was mad at myself.”

John took the short, sharp answer as a ‘shut up.’ He flopped onto his back. They laid there in silence for about five minutes before John’s phone went off, alerting him to a text from Jade.

_where are you? im at the front of the school :P_

“I guess I’m being summoned,” John said. “Are you just gonna stay here?”

“I’ll catch up in a bit,” Karkat answered, eyes still closed.

“I’ll see you then, Karkat,” John said, standing up.

“Yep,” Karkat returned. And John could have sworn he saw Karkat opening his eyes and watching him as he left.

 

John spent a good few minutes insisting he was innocent of his Karkat hate crimes to the others until Karkat showed up and bailed him out. Terezi finally seemed at ease, at least. In fact, John was feeling generally pretty good. Until Jade hunted him down during a between-classes break. She was like a hound in fox season.

“John!” She said, quickly approaching and trapping John near a bathroom. John was getting tired of being cornered. “Hey, so you’re friends with Karkat now?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” John replied, trying to slide by her. Jade allowed him to move, but continued following him to his locker.

“Sure, we’re friends,” Jade said. “He’s an asshole but he’s also a sweetheart.” John rolled his eyes.

“Those go perfectly together,” he droned.

“Yes. They do. And what about you?” Jade continued. John opened his locker and tried to block his sister’s face with the door. She swung around the other side. “Huh? Johnboy?”

“We only just made up after I completely pissed him off,” He told her. Jade crossed her arms and leaned against an adjacent locker, twisting her lips.

“You should still give him space,” She said. John sighed.

“He isn’t mad at me anymore,” He reiterated.

“ _Stuff_ is going on, remember?” Jade reminded him. “ _Stuff_ , John. Space stuff.” John closed his locker, books in hand.

“What, like planets and stars?” He asked, turning to Jade. She bopped his forehead.

“Dork. Just watch it, okay?” She said.

“Why is Karkat the fucking pope? How many body guards does he need? Why am I the bad guy?” He complained.

“Stuff. Stuff!!!” Jade repeated. John stuck out his tongue before ditching her and heading to Science.

 

 

“Karkat,” John said, sitting next to the kid, who was yawning in his seat.  “Are we friends?” Karkat eyed him.

“What kind of question is that?” He asked, eyes heavily lidded with either fatigue or annoyance. John decided on fatigue.

“Jade wants to know,” John explained. Karkat’s expression changed, in a way that was hard to pinpoint.

“Everybody is friends. We’re all on the fucking friendship train,” He sneered. John scoffed. 

“Okay but are we still enemies?” He pressed. Karkat’s face fell a little.

“Enemies?” But he picked it back up and turned it to his desk. “We were never enemies.”

“So I’ll just tell Jade you and are best friends. We’re all on the friendship train,” John offered lightly. Karkat smirked.

“You’re really weird, John.”

“You too, Karkat,” John returned. And again Karkat’s expression shifted.  John didn’t have time to start questioning it, as the teacher was just arriving. But out of the corner of his eye, he continually noticed Karkat glancing his way. Not in the same way he had glanced at Jade, but the way…

 

“Dave!”

John found his friend at the lunch table. Dave smiled at him as he sat, something he wasn’t expecting from a formal bodyguard of the pope.

“Have you guys forgiven me yet?”

“Forgiven you for what?” Dave asked, chewing on a floppy pizza pop.

“I dunno, whatever it is,” John answered.

“Look, forget about that stuff, alright?” Dave told him. He didn’t sound mad or serious or anything. “Just a bunch of stuff is happening. These people are soooo dramatic. It’ll dissipate. Give it… two weeks.”

“Whatever,” John sighed. “It feels like I’m out of a loop.”

“Yeah, everyone’s in and out of loops. When’s the last time you were around any teenager but Jade?” Dave said.

“I have at least one hundred teenaged friends in every state,” John informed him. Dave snorted.

“Right. Relax. Let it go. Things will… pan out or something. Or blow up. Either or.”

“Fff, perfect,” John quipped. “I’d love to see something blow up.”

“Blow up?”

Terezi slid into a chair at the table.

“What’s going to blow up?”

Dave smirked.

“You are. Bam,” He said, almost forming a gun with his hand but giving up halfway through the gesture. Terezi jolted back with an ‘oof!’ and clutched at her heart, grinning madly. Dave completed his gun to shoot John through the forehead and then turned to shoot Karkat as he approached the table.

“Bam bam” Dave narrated. “Three casualties.”

“Awesome,” Karkat said. “I’ve always wanted to be a casualty.” Even when Dave murdered Jade, the air was clear. John was off scot-free, for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I am going to continue and try to finish this!!! It will just take a while. My creative juices are.... all juiced out. Please continue leaving feedback and thank you!!!


	3. Chapter 3

“Out of curiosity,” John said to Dave during a game of first-week-of-school dodgeball, “Are we the only four in PE?”

“Yep,” Dave answered. “Rose and Kanaya are females. They don’t play sports.” The comment was quickly answered with a rubber fastball striking Dave in the face and knocking him over. John looked to see Terezi flipping their general direction the bird. Jade was laughing loudly some distance away.

John couldn’t help but laugh as well as Dave struggled back to his feet.

“It doesn’t count if it hits you in the face!” Dave shouted.

“Sorry, I thought you were taller!” Terezi cackled.

“Okay, so what about Karkat?” John asked. Dave rubbed his temples.

“He… um… doesn’ t like changing for PE.”

“That’s it? The only reason?” John asked.

“It is bothersome,” Dave replied. “I mean not everyone is this sexy in gym shorts.”  He glanced at the other team. “Talking to you, ladies!”

Jade quickly snatched a ball and pitched it. John had to commend her aim. Dave collapsed with a wail of agony, much to his friends’ amusement.  

So Karkat didn’t take PE for some unknown reason. That seemed normal enough, but John made a mental note regardless. He was still trying to figure out the _stuff_ that was going on. Any anomaly was important to the investigation. Especially since interrogating Karkat was against Jade’s laws.

Later in the week, John discovered that there was a surprising amount of different clubs. Dave claimed to be too cool for them, and offered John no help when club leaders started dropping hints to him and Jade to join some. Terezi was on the debate team, Rose was in the orchestra, and Kanaya was in the in choir. Jade was quickly enamored with many of the possibilities. She took flyers from everybody, apparently intent on trying all of them. John, however, decided to ask Karkat if he was in any. The debate team, judging by the fact that Terezi was on it, was surely too hardcore for John. And he played the piano, but he didn’t want to be Rose and Kanaya’s third wheel all the time.

“Short answer, no,” Karkat told John when he was posed the question. “Long answer, fuck no.” He was rifling through some books in the library, John leaning against the shelf next to him.

“Are you too cool for them, like Dave?” John chuckled. He was trying not to tread on any thin ice.

“Please,” Karkat scoffed. He was using two fingers to pry each book apart from its neighbor. “I just don’t get along with anybody.” John frowned.

“We’re getting along right now, aren’t we?” He asked. Karkat, who had been eyeing a particular book cover, stiffened up.

“Yeah. How long will that last?” He asked, his voice a notch quieter. John’s face fell. He moved off of the shelf. Karkat’s eyes met his very briefly before he frowned and removed his hand from the shelf, allowing the books to slap together. “Alright,” He said quickly. “Yep.” He sped past John and in the direction of the library exit.

“W-wait,” John stammered. “Karkat!” Karkat ignored him and left. John puffed up his cheeks and shot the air out in frustration. His eyes, shrouded by angry, angled brows, flickered to the book that Karkat had been looking at. _Animal Farm_. John was sure he had overheard that one of the English classes was reading that book. Karkat probably needed it, but didn’t take it out. Cutting off his nose just to spite his face. Even though John was under the impression there was no problem with the conversation they were having.

Then again, if he were to picture Jade’s reaction, she would probably blame him for pissing Karkat off. So maybe he said something to piss him off, whatever. He figured he should borrow the book for Karkat and bring it to him. Unfortunatley, after leaving the library, John couldn’t find Karkat anywhere. He didn’t want to ask his friends, for fear of being detained and interrogated. So he waited until the end of the day to go after him.

Of course, as his luck would have it, Karkat was not around after school either. Karkat wouldn’t have skipped all of his afternoon classes, so John figured that he was avoiding him once again. He didn’t want to hang on to _Animal Farm_ for the weekend. Terezi, who was waiting at the bus stop, seemed like the easiest person to ask for help.  

“Hey, Terezi,” John called out, circling the bus stop bench.

“Hey, asshole,” She replied, smiling. John chuckled.

“Yeah, okay. Listen, where’s Karkat?” Terezi was still smiling, but her grin shifted to one side.

“Gone. Outta here. Faster than I’ve ever seen.” And then cackled under her breath.

“Really?” John asked. “Already? Why?”

Terezi shrugged.

“Beats me. He’s been all aloof.” Her grin spread, and she leaned forward with her cane. “Why do you want to see him so badly?”

“I’ve got a book of his,” John told her. Terezi gasped.

“Karkat reads?!”

“Do you know where he lives?” John pressed.

“Of course I know where he lives,” She answered. “I’ve spent oodles of time there. Well, oodles of time outside. Because he doesn’t like people coming in.”

“Where is it?” John asked. Terezi licked her thumb and held it to the wind.   


“Due north,” She said, pointing.

“Come on, really,” John said. Terezi laughed.

“It’s on 2nd street. Don’t ask me how to get there. He lives in the house that’s balls-deep in lilacs.”

“Huh. That’s an interesting way of describing it,” John laughed. Terezi smirked. “Thank you!”

“No problem, asshole!” Terezi returned as John left the school grounds.

John knew where second street was, because it was between the school and his house. It was a short residential street, and most of the houses were adorned with flowers. But only one really stood out as being completely covered in vines of lilacs. It smelled strongly.

John knocked on the door, and was greeted by Karkat. Karkat looked shocked at first, then angry, then even more shocked.

“What the ever-loving fuck are you doing here?” He asked. Despite the words, it sounded docile. John pulled _Animal Farm_ from his backpack and presented it to Karkat.

“You need this for class, right?” He asked. Karkat’s eyes fell onto the book, then became lidded.

“No,” He answered. “I don’t.”

“B..but you were looking at it in the library,” John reminded him. “And one of the English classes is reading it.”

“Christ, John,” Karkat said “I can’t look at a fucking book without you going all hometown hero. I’m not even in that class.”

John gawked, feeling a blush flood into his cheeks.

  
“Oh… uh. Oh.”

“Are you really that obsessed with me?” Karkat said. There was a soft laugh in his voice, and it came out awkwardly. John didn’t know what to say, and both of them fell silent.

“Um… “Karkat coughed. “Do you… want to come inside?”

“Come inside?” John echoed. “For what?”

“I don’t fucking know, you came out here. There’s some iced tea in the fridge if you want some kind compensation for your troubles.” Now Karkat was blushing too. This was going downhill fast.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” John agreed, trying to make something of the mutual fuckup that was going on. Karkat silently stood aside, letting John into his home. John tucked the book away.

“The kitchen is here,” Karkat said, indicating the room.

“I don’t actually want ice tea as compensation for walking here,” John laughed. Karkat’s mouth twisted.

“Whatever. There’s probably half a dozen loud children in every other room, so this is my recommendation,” he flatlined. John gave in and followed him to the primly tiled room. “Sit,” Karkat commanded softly. John obeyed, and sat at the island table in the middle of the kitchen. Karkat went to rummage through the fridge. John sat silently, unsure of what to do. He rested his chin in his hands and watched Karkat. Karkat emerged from the fridge with a pitcher of iced tea, and tensed up when his eyes fell on John.

“Why are you watching me?” he asked harshly.

“What else am I supposed to watch?” John returned. Apparently flustered, Karkat turned away and poured the iced tea into two glasses. He turned back and placed the glasses loudly on the island before putting the iced tea back in the fridge and sitting down, opposite John.

“Alright, John,” He said. His voice was soft and docile again. “I get it. You want to be friends or whatever.”

“Why is that such a big deal?” John asked, trying to sound playful. Karkat just looked exasperated.

“It isn’t!” He replied.

“It kind of seems like it’s being made into a big deal,” John insisted. Karkat rolled his eyes so hard John thought they’d pop out.

“Whatever. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Okay,” John complied. “But yes. I do want to be friends.” Karkat nodded, sipping his iced tea. “We should join a club or something. Since everyone else is too busy doing their own thing.” Karkat frowned.

“I thought I already told you, and then proved to you, that I don’t get along well with others,” He said. John laughed.

“Come on, you just can’t walk away in the middle of a conversation.”

Karkat twisted his lips back and forth, eyeing his hands.

“What clubs were you even looking at?” He asked.

“I dunno,” John answered, shrugging. “I figured we could go to one meeting for each. That’d be pretty entertaining, right?” Karkat shrugged as well.

“Whatever. I guess.”

John took that as a _yes._ He sipped his iced tea, feeling satisfied with himself.

“Hey… do you have your phone on you?” Karkat asked, out of the blue.

“Uh, yeah , I do,” John told him. Karkat gestured for him to hand it over. John obliged him, taking his cellphone from his pocket and sliding it to him. Karkat picked it up and pressed one button before handing it back. John didn’t know why he was complying so easily, but he unlocked it and returned it to Karkat’s hands.

“Next time you want to hang out,” Karkat said, “text me or something, okay?” He sounded tired. “Don’t come to the door.” He tapped a few things into the touch screen before locking the phone and giving it back to John. John recalled Terezi saying that Karkat didn’t like people in his house. He didn’t even think that he was overstepping Karkat’s boundaries.

“Thanks for letting me in this time, though,” John told him, trying to patch his mistake up. Karkat looked down at his hands again.

“Yeah,” He replied quietly.

After sitting in the silence for a minute, they came up with which clubs they would try out in what order. Once their iced teas were gone, John bid his goodbyes and left.

Just as John expected, Jade was at his heels the moment he came home.

“Where did you go?”

“Dave’s house.”

“That’s a lie, I was with Dave.”

“WOAH, what were you doing with Dave?”

“WHERE WERE YOU?”

“WAS DAVE FLIRTING WITH YOU.”

“OH MY GOD SHUT UP.”

“THEN LEAVE ME ALOOOOONE.”

They had to stop when their nana threatened to cook them for dinner. John took the opportunity to flee to his room and slam the door, and Jade responded by shoving her nose under it and breathing heavily.

“Who were you wiiiiiith,” she breathed. John twisted the doorknob, as if ready to open his door and cave her face in. Jade didn’t budge, although John was sure she put her hands up against the door to prevent any nose breakage. John held his breath before letting it out, just loud enough for it to make a sound.

“Karkat.”

“I KNEW IT!” Jade cheered, suddenly finding the strength to throw the door open. John cringed. “Why were you with Karkat?”

“We were just hanging out,” John informed her. Jade quirked her lips.

“Oh-oh oooooh,” She cooed. “Okay. Fine. Just hanging out.” Her voice was mocking. John laughed.

“What else would we be doing?” He asked. Jade shrugged several times in quick succession.

“Just checking,” She hummed with a smile, turning to leave.

“Wait, Jade,” John said. She turned back. “Is anyone gonna tell me anything, or am I supposed to forget that there’s…. ugh, _stuff_ going on?” Jade twisted her lips again.

“Forget about it,” She told him. “I’m just glad you two are hanging out.” And she was off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aahahahahha THERE IT IS
> 
> I'll probably be updating more regularly now... but uhhhh don't hold me to it  
> Also if you notice any continuity errors please let me know! Thanjkkkkkk youuuuuuu for reading and commenting


	4. Chapter 4

Over the next school week, John and Karkat went club-hopping. On Monday they sat in during the Eco Club meeting. The club leader, who was probably the corniest guy in the whole school, made the new members play a game where they named an endangered species. John said _dinosaurs,_ which made Karkat smirk a bit, but probably pissed off the club leader. So that club was no good.

On Tuesday, they were in Student Council. They were really intensely discussing upcoming school dances and events, and both john and Karkat almost fell asleep.

“Please don’t make me go in there again,” Karkat groaned as they left.

“Deal,” John agreed.

At the middle of the week, John was almost killing himself laughing over a chess board after John tried to stack all of his dead pieces and send them back into battle. Karkat could only watch, twisting his lips back and forth and resisting a grin. The rest of the chess club was not so amused. After seeing Karkat almost really smiling, after a week of him being a total grump, John couldn’t help but continue making a fool of himself. Every time he knocked over a piece, he added sound effects. The pieces knocked over everything else in their proximity as well.   


“You’re messing me up!” Karkat exclaimed, getting flustered. John set the pieces back up, but put them on different spots from where they were standing before. “John! That’s not where they were!” John could only laugh as Karkat tried to remember where they went. John leaned over the table.

“Karkat,” he whispered. “I don’t think we’re very good at chess. Maybe we should quit chess club.”

“You think?” Karkat sneered, a small smirk on his lips. It warmed John up to see him smile like that. And the warmth resonated even after they left, winded from laughing under their breaths.

“Why don’t you laugh like that more often?” John wheezed. Karkat tensed up. His cheeks flushed just barely. Johntensed up as well, realizing how weird the question was. He nearly bit his tongue off. Karkat looked like he was about to start yelling something defensive, but Kanaya interrupted him by sweeping in, long skirt swishing dramatically at her ankles.

“How is the club-hunting, boys?” She asked.

“So far, no luck,” John told her, trying not to look directly at Karkat.

“We’re talentless hacks,” Karkat added, “Maybe we can make our own club.” He looked at John, and just the faintest of smiles graced his lips. John reflexively smiled in return.

“That’s alright,” Kanaya said. “You certainly don’t have to be in a club. I was only wondering because Jade told us you played the piano, John.” John nodded.

“Yeah, I do,” he confirmed. From the side, he could tell Karkat looked somewhat anxious. Or was is disappointed? It was hard to tell. “But I play stupid show tunes and stuff. I probably couldn’t play in an orchestra.”

“Well, the meeting is on Friday,” Kanaya informed him. “If you want, you should drop by.”

“I’ll check it out,” he assured her. She smiled and continued on her way. Karkat briefly eyed John before turning away.

“I guess I’ll just hang out with Dave or something on those days,” He said, “If you join.”

“I won’t,” John responded. “Choir and Orchestra meetings are joined, right? They do practice together. I’m not gonna go there to play the soundtrack for Rose and Kanaya’s love life.” Karkat raised his eyebrows.

“Good. You’ve got some fucking sense,” He remarked. John laughed as they went on to science class together. And even during the class, John was still laughing and joking around, while Karkat responded in his Karkat sort of way. While the teacher was talking, John tried his best to pay attention, despite still having giggles in his throat. But he noticed that Karkat was mostly calm beside him, and that he was watching him. Silently gazing upon him like he was just an image. John tried not to pay any attention to it. Maybe there was something on his face, so he swiped at his cheek. Maybe that was it, as Karkat finally turned away.

John didn’t know why, but instead of continuing to look away, he turned just barely, and stared at Karkat in return. When he wasn’t exhausting his roster of facial expressions in one conversation, he just looked…

Soft.

Not as in large or squishy, but rather, all the lines on his face looked that way. All the curves were soft; there was nothing jutting out. His facial structure looked relaxed and neutral, despite how often he seemed to frown. He didn’t have lines that would indicate long-term use of any particular emotion. Just tired, maybe. There were fleshy, dark circles under his eyes. Johns hands began to twitch, and he turned back to the teacher. His mind had gone mostly blank.

On Thursdays there were no interesting club meetings at lunch time, so John and Karkat sat with the others.

“Look who’s friends with everyone again,” Dave said, throwing his hands in the air. John reached out and slapped his palms.

“It was boring every lunchtime without us, right?” He asked.

“No,” Dave said.

“Yes,” Rose countered.

“No one’s been hanging out with me _all week,_ ” Dave complained. “Why is that?”

“You didn’t ask us,” Karkat told him flatly. Dave huffed.

“Yeah because I didn’t want to interfere with your goddamned _romance_ ,” He said. Karkat frowned. Dave paused. “I’m joking,” he added, softly. He was, John could tell. But Karkat still looked uneasy and it made John uneasy in turn.

“Dave is being really offensive and rude right now,” Terezi teased loudly. “I’m really upset.”

“I agree,” Karkat chimed in. “Dave needs to stop.”

Dave leaned back in his chair and made a screaming noise under his breath.

Rose leaned over the table and hit his forehead with a paperback. John patted his shoulder sympathetically.

The fun they were all having seemed to be perfectly innocent and normal, but John had a hunch that once again, something was off. Something to do with the sour vibes radiating off of Karkat and the way Dave and Terezi both seemed to be feeding off of them. He tried to put it out of his mind, accepting that maybe he wasn’t ever going to find out why there was always so much underlying tension.  But it all bubbled up when the bell rang for the end of lunch, when he noticed Dave shooting Karkat a look.

Karkat looked back, and as John was gathering his things, he silently noted the ‘let’s go’ motion Dave made with his head. But the way Karkat’s face shifted, it wasn’t a mutual ‘let’s go.’ It seemed like more of a ‘go where my head is pointing.’

“Hey, space cadet,” Jade said as she jutted her hand briefly in front of John’s eyes. He realized he had been ogling the exchange rather obviously, and quickly turned to grab his things and leave. Jade trailed after him.

“What class do you have?” John asked her idly, trying to keep track of where Dave and Karkat were going.

“English,” Jade answered, grabbing the handle of a nearby door and jamming her thumb in its direction. John stopped walking, and made a small ‘o’ with his mouth. Jade smiled. “Try to stay out of trouble.” And she left, into the classroom. John turned around, and he had no idea where anyone else had gone. Technically he had class this period, but it wasn’t a very important one. He started for its general direction, thinking that if he didn’t find anyone else he would just go there.  But of course, he did find someone.

In a nearby stairwell, John overheard Karkat’s distinct voice, loudly arguing. Dave’s voice responded, quieter. Through the doors it was hard to make out what they were saying. But it was certain that the word _fuck_ was being used generously. There was some clatter, and John leapt back to make way for the stairwell door being swung open. Karkat came storming out, breathing heavily. He didn’t notice John as he went by, but John certainly noticed him.

“Karkat! What’s going on?” He called. Karkat froze up before spinning on his heel. He glared at John, eyes brimming with mortification.

“What the _fuck_ are _you_ doing?” He snarled, voice choked. John could tell he was on the verge of crying.

“I just overheard yelling- Are you okay?”

 

“Fuck off!” Karkat barked. He turned back and sped off, his ratty sneakers squeaking against the floors.

“Karkat!” John yelled. Karkat disappeared, probably into the classroom of the class he was missing. John jumped when he felt a hand grab his shoulder. Dave turned him around.

“Leave him alone, okay?” He said. John felt a surge of anger run through him.

“Leave him alone!” He echoed. “Why do I always have to leave Karkat alone? Why are you all the ones that are constantly telling me to leave him alone?” Dave looked shocked at first, and then he frowned.

“He was late for class,” He explained, voice sharp. “Just chill out and wait until after school.”

“Jesus Christ, Dave,” John complained. “When am I gonna get to know the reason I’ve been at the top of your most wanted list?”

“I’m sorry!” Dave told him. “We’re all sorry! We didn’t even realize this would happen. We’re just looking out for Karkat and we didn’t mean for you to get dragged into it. I wish none of this shit was going on! It’s the biggest fucking pain in the ass and it drives me nuts but for right now everyone just needs to chill out.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” John muttered. But he was less angry now.

“Jade has been hounding you, I know. I tried to tell her not to get too defensive. But she’s so… I dunno, she really likes Karkat I guess. Just wait this out and everything will blow over.”

“Okay, but what’s going on with Karkat? Is he okay? Is he dying? If I’m his friend I want to know,” John pressed. Dave sighed loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“He’s fine. If you can avoid Jade, try asking him after school. “ Dave gestured vaguely in the direction Karkat had gone. “It’s out of my hands.”

 

And that’s exactly what John did. He knew the direction that Karkat’s house was in now, and so he knew where he would probably be coming out of the school. He sped over to the back exit after last period and managed to catch Karkat as he left.  Karkat noticed him straight away, and tried to ignore him as he went out the door. But John pursued.

“Karkat, hang on,” he pleaded. Karkat’s footsteps quickened. “Karkat, I just want to talk to you.” Karkat nearly broke into a run, and John sped up to match. “Come on, Karkat,” He said. He reached out carefully, placing a gentle hand on Karkat’s arm. As if he were made of hot steel, Karkat recoiled and skidded around on his heels. He looked John in the eyes, every part of him venomous, like a snake backed into a corner. 

“What?” He said sharply.

“Karkat, listen, okay? I’m just worried because you seem so fucking upset! I thought we were friends, you know?” John reasoned. Slowly, Karkat unwound and shrank back. “So it makes sense that this is _kind of_ troubling, right?” Karkat was now completely avoiding eye contact. “Can we please talk? We can go somewhere alone.” Karkat nodded once.

“Yeah,” He mumbled. It was barely audible, but John heard it just fine. He gestured for Karkat to follow him.

“Let’s go to the park. No one ever goes there,” He suggested. Karkat nodded and followed along.

The walk there was silent. Both of them were expecting to get all the speaking done when they got there, but it ended up making for an awkward trek.  When they got to the park, Karkat tensed up.

“I changed my mind,” He said. “I don’t want to talk.” John had been anticipating this.

“Here, just try this out, okay?” He said, sitting down in the grass. “Sit down with your back facing mine.”

“What?” Karkat spat, incredulous.

“Just do it,” John insisted. With a loud sigh, Karkat sat down opposite John in the grass. “Okay, now say everything you have to say. I won’t look at you, I won’t say anything, I will not move. When you’re done, leave. This whole thing never happened.”

Karkat was silent for quite a while. So long that John thought he’d never talk, or that maybe he had already left. But John had promised not to move, so he didn’t turn to look. Finally, he heard Karkat shuffle in the grass.

“I used to have no friends,” He started softly. “That sounds like a shitty story already but… when I met Kanaya and Terezi, we became really close. They were the best friends anyone could ask for. They didn’t care about… well I mean they didn’t…. they were very understanding.”  John could tell he was pulling at the grass. “And then Kanaya started talking to this girl online. And _they_ got really close. And it turned out she was moving into this area with her brother. That’s Rose and Dave. Kanaya and Rose started dating and so Dave hung out with me and Terezi. We actually made friends really fast, despite the fact that he’s a huge asshole. He and Terezi dated but that was just dumb kid stuff. But then Terezi went out with this really scummy guy. And I could handle Dave, but… I had … I guess I had a crush on her for a very long time. And even though I was starting to get over that, this guy just… he was not good for her. And she’s my friend.  She kind of grew distant and it… sucked a lot.”

Karkat was silent for another minute before continuing.

“And Kanaya and Rose were suddenly distant too. I was… it fucking hurt… to feel like I was losing my friends. But I still had Dave, so me and him grew closer. Like we’re… we were best friends.  And then one day he mentions these people he used to be like super best fucking friends with and I tried not to think much of it. But he keeps talking about how he’s chatting with them online and how fucking cool they are. And it starts to get to me. I think, ‘here we go again, he’s gonna leave me too.’”

Another moment of silence.

“…One day he says they’re moving back into the area, and they’ll attend the same school. That totally sounds fucking familiar to me. I expect I’m going to hate these kids, and at first I do. At first I totally resist and act like a spoiled fucking brat. But then when I come to terms with it, I…” Karkat gulped. “I get to know this kid. This one kid. And he isn’t so bad, I guess. I mean, well… He’s nice. I start, sort of, hanging out with him I guess. I…. fuck. Fuck. I’m hanging out with this kid I thought I would fucking despise and then… It doesn’t even take a week, and I… fuck. I fucking fall for the kid.”

Immediately, Karkat was on his feet. He was gone in the blink of an eye. John didn’t move. He had promised not to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha do not look at me  
> I'm sorry pbbbt, please let me know if anything needs fixing (doesn't make sense, errors, etc)  
> Thanks for commenting, angels


End file.
